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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

One Good Thing About Music II


A Kiss and say Goodbye....
I am reminded of a video by Howard Jones. The eighties introduced me to MTV. And MTV introduced me to things that allow me to call myself eclectic in my old age. Anyway the song had a line in it(which I think was the title as well):
"What is love anyway?
Does anybody love anybody
anyway."
So I suppose my tendency towards the maudlin romantic gives credence to a lot of these SynthPop "love" songs. And High Fidelity(the film not the book) really affected me.
And why am I saying all this. Cause I finally accepted that the other person in this picture that I thought I would love forever has ended things. Like any other over dramatic person I have to make some public declaration of the end of this relationship. Cause I don't wanna seem like I didn't have any say in the ending. Which I really don't think I did in any way but passive/aggressively. To wit:
I listened to angry songs for two weeks. I read Toni Morrison's Love (really the book on disc as I road up and down the mountains from Montgomery to Baltimore then back again) and repeatedly mumbled, "true dat" like I understood what she meant. I painted pictures that had nothing to do with her and tried to be nonchalant around the people who I ran into and knew us as a couple. Then I rediscovered Al Green and Stevie Wonder and Fiona Apple(the first album) and I think everything is getting better. I made peace with the idea that I still love her but its over. I made peace with the idea that this may be better for me. And I made peace with the realization that though our last meeting was very anticlimactic it was the climax. And its over.
I stopped writing poetry years ago cause I was tired of turning echoes of past events into shining gems. Oh yeah and I had fallen in love again. Now that I'm back out, I'm trying not to write any poems but I am writing and drawing and painting. And a lot of it is about Her. But I've been here before. And I've gotten over this before. But I have to be honest about right now. So "this is the last day of our acquaintance" and I am done carrying it on my chest. This is my Goodbye... for me. So I can't go back. So I won't go back. Because something ending is always something beginning.
But damn.
Love Stinks.
Hope Eternal/06

4 Comments:

Blogger SuperOceanLad said...

I love that sketch. Honestly, it's the warmest realest thing I've seen of yours, and i don't just mean real as in accurate.

SOme truth here, my friend.

SOL

P.S., want to invite Billy back?

12:58 AM, January 19, 2006

 
Blogger SuperOceanLad said...

Oh, and it's over, but that's the first time I've seen her. She's beautiful. Of course, that's your eyes.

12:59 AM, January 19, 2006

 
Blogger Elias Infinity said...

The incredible thing about sketches are that they have an energy that exists in the discovery of things that is hard to emulate when you try to paint or ink from it. And she is beautiful. Her mother caught this moment in a photo last year and i was gonna make it a painting. But this is enough.

As for Bill. i think I emailed him about the site but i forget so much these days. It wouldn't hurt to ask.

And what the hell does "LOL" and "SOL" mean. I always feel like I'm missing something when I read it. Man I am becoming a grumpy old man faster then I planned.
Damn kids and their internet speak!!!

11:49 AM, January 19, 2006

 
Blogger jk said...

LOl is Laugh out Loud, as in "I'm laughing out loud at what you said". SOL is SuperOceanLad, it's how he signs his posts.
I am so glad to have this connection to you again, Elias ... I think I mentioned that.

12:00 AM, January 20, 2006

 

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